I Wasn’t Expecting That

Chemo day unit

Whilst sat in the day unit i thought it was a perfect time to have a little play around and write a poem. The oncology chemo unit. It's a funny old placePatients come and goVery rarely a familiar face Except the tremendous nursesThey are always hereOccasionally one leavesAnd a new face will appear The very… READ MORE

New Year Blog!

With the start of the New Year and all the festivities prior it can be a very reflective time, but for someone with an uncertain outlook weighing on there shoulders it can also be a very daunting, nervous and scary time of year. As mentioned previously in other blogs big milestones: birthdays, Christmas, New year… READ MORE

There's only good news!

Following the last blog about the anxiety before every scan being horrible (scanxiety), basically your life is balanced on a knife's edge. Has it stopped working? Have they grown? Are they stable? Two weeks ago I received my CT and MRI scan results... Well, one thing I was definitely not expecting was hearing that "they… READ MORE


People say at diagnosis time stands still, it didn't for me it felt like it sped up and the next few weeks became an array of tests, scans, appointments, examinations, consultations. Then when treatment and this cancer journey started it became not a journey but life being lived in 3 month blocks waiting for the… READ MORE

Not the 80th i expected....

Something i've learnt along this journey is celebrate the weird anniversaries that come along with it, so it may seem crazy but Monday 8th October saw me celebrate my 80th round of chemo. Apparently not quite a world record yet but potentially the hospital record, oh well we celebrated it anyway with cupcakes (well the… READ MORE

SIRT results

I am aware many of you have been asking and waiting to find out if the SIRT treatment that Sam received back in June and July was successful. On Monday (17th Sept), after a lot of waiting, Sam went to her appointment with Dr Awesome and was told that SIRT treatment has been successful in… READ MORE

This little alien is a pain in the arse...

As many of you know throughout my entire treatment i have gained IV access to my chemotherapy via a portacath which is inside my chest wall and is meant to enable easy access. Trust me it has been a god send, i can swim, play football, do crazy stuff and not have to worry about… READ MORE

Platelet Party is over!!!

Amazingly and probably a little bit to my surprise i felt absolutely fine after the Prep and although a little tired and my wrist a little sore, everything seemed all good! Removing the little air band preventing the blood from squirting out of my artery was quite a simple task and no blood. All seemed… READ MORE

SIRT Time.... by Vicky 🙂

As I sit here at the hospital waiting for Sam to come back from her second lot of SIRT (5th July), I reflect on her first round about a month ago - which felt a lot more unknown. Having been prepared for every side affect and risk under the sun previously, the procedure seemed very… READ MORE

What now?

The wait began as we finished the procedure with three options: Procedure will be a NO go if blood (the dye) is being moved from the liver to lungs - meaning its too dangerous to go ahead. Will have to go in and coil off more areas to prevent blood flow to other organs if… READ MORE


No not meal prep like the usual. Selective internal radiation therapy(SIRT) preperation and anngiogram. This was the start of SIRT and the vital bit in terms of wether this procedure would be able to go ahead. This would be determined by preventing all blood shunting from liver to other organs, surgeon feeling it was appropriate… READ MORE

Scariest appointment of my life...

This has all been a massive whirlwind and the actual appointment and moving forward with the procedure happened a lot sooner than we all expected or thought. This started with an appointment with Dr Serious, one that probably naively was going to be a breeze and just give us a little run down of SIRT.… READ MORE

SIRT what is it?

SIRT - known as selective internal radiation therapy is a relatively new procedure in the medical world from what we know and has just gone through a very in depth and successful trial in England that spanned over a number of years. This data all needs to be collected and evaluated and within the next… READ MORE

Ablation or not?

Knowing how busy the MDT teams are the wait was on for whenever Dr Strong Name could have a little look at it. Turned out this was quicker than expected and Dr Awesome appears to have news this week instead of next. After reviewing my scans then tumours are to highly vasculated  (too much blood… READ MORE


Back round to this three monthly routine of scan, wait and results and all the anxiety that comes with each of those. After the previous stable scan we were keeping our fingers crossed for more of the same... off to CT I go and the wait begins. Results are back or are they? Turns out… READ MORE

Are you okay?

Are you okay? The answer is i never know Yes on the surface i am Still trying to be Sam Are you okay? The answer is probably no I want to cry and hope this is all a lie Are you okay? Sometimes the answer is yes I have and am truly blessed Surrounded by… READ MORE

Music - Whats your soundtrack?

Music is something i haven't always appreciated the importance of, mainly because i have an absolute lack of rhythm, no understanding of tone and cant even clap along to a simple beat (its a big problem). I also have a bad habit of making up the lyrics to songs that i think fit. I have… READ MORE

Just cant catch a break this month...

After the previous round of chemotherapy and the issue with the extravasation all i wanted was a relatively straight forward round of chemotherapy if that actually exists. Wednesday came round as it does every two weeks even though it feels like you only walked out of the hospital a few days ago. It has a… READ MORE

Extravasation- what even is that?

Well last Thursday presented a new problem, woke up with a dead arm and a really sore shoulder but port seemed normal so must have just slept funny. In the search of more sleep which is difficult to obtain I try and get a few more zzz's! A few hours later I wake, this time… READ MORE

Denial - winner and loser!

Denial is a complicated emotion and one that I haven't really spoken about or broached at all but constantly it pops up or is a term used to describe a way of dealing with difficult situations. Denial has never really been paramount for me mainly because, other than potentially the first few days, it has… READ MORE


Life is best when shared with family and friends. As Christmas draws to a close, the turkey is finally finished and the tree nearly taken down it is a time to reflect. Christmas isn't about the presents under the tree or the food you eat ( although there must be pigs in blankets), it's about the… READ MORE

Stable and more...

After one little scare of November of which by the way my CT turned out to be all clear on my chest so it wasn't that creating the chest pain - another mystery maybe from all the sneezing. Well in the same process of this they scanned my liver, earlier than expected but means not… READ MORE

Not the start to November i wanted... out of control!

Well the 1st of November came round and guess what, it was a chemo day. The day started off really well with a relaxing reflexology session - yes i survived someone touching my feet for at least an hour - weirdly i think it may have given me back some of the feelings in my… READ MORE

What makes you smile...

Sometimes its the little things that make us just as happy and make us smile as much as the big thought our gestures. So after reading 'Reasons to stay alive' by Matt Haig, it made me think about little things that make us smile on a regular basis. This list is by no means every… READ MORE

#KICKCANCERCUP 2017 - Guest Blog

GUEST BLOG - Thank you Jade Hill... Finally, the day was here. The evening of 27th of September brought the third running of the Kick Cancer Cup. This is where a team of Sam’s XI against a team of S-Tech league representatives compete in order to raise money for Addenbrookes oncology unit. After many months… READ MORE

Its the little things...

A long running question and questions that are seen on various support sites is people asking what they can do to help... many of us in this situation don't really know the answer. In my opinion this is for various reason; we don't know what helps, this journey is new for us too, we don't… READ MORE

That was the 6 letter word i needed...

Wow that was one hell of a week!!! Some of you may have been aware, guessed or worked out it was roughly that time for my 3monthly scan. This time it's safe to say scanxiety had well and truly hit me smack in the face. Having the date a whole six weeks prior was not… READ MORE

Don't count your chickens too soon!

Following my most recent round of chemo, I felt i had got off quite lightly, aside from the minor A&E visit, I'd managed to celebrate Seb's anniversary, support Vicky at Watford and still made it to La Tomitina the following week. This was about to change 🙁 Knowing that going to clinic with a cough… READ MORE

Too good to be true...

Chemo last Wednesday, not the smoothest thanks to my body temperature. Thank you Cauchi for the company and finally we got out of there after numerous prods of a thermometer in my ear. Not the greatest start however Thursday comes round and i seem to have loads of energy, off to Watford we head. Friday expecting… READ MORE

Hair Today Gone Tomorrow...

As many of you may know i have never been very daring or different with my hair it tends to get stuck in a style for too long. Although i don't do much with my hair, the thought of losing it was one of the scariest things of this whole experience, it wasn’t about losing… READ MORE