God send of a big brother and Sister in Law…

So off to the hospital we trudge, check over by 1 doctor doesn’t think gallstones, second opinion need to get a 3rd opinion lol, don’t believe its gallstones but want to do an ultrasound and bloods to investigate further. Bloods well here is where the fun begins so apparently my veins are a nightmare thank god for my port now. Blood everywhere poor girl opposite nearly took a squirting of my blood. Finally we have a vein yay!!! No movement rest of the day up to a ward whilst we await CT and ultrasound. Next day down for ultrasound, wow that jelly is cold… so the results cant see my gallbladder as liver so inflamed… back up to the ward more waiting.

Next day through to CT scan back up to the ward, lots of amazing visits from my friends still swirling around in a world of unknown, me and krisis sneak out to watch the football 🙂 Thanks sonia for washing my hair 🙂

Next day brings the arrival of Dr Serious and apparently the magician of surgery, what news shall he bring. Lesions on your liver (man of very few words). Some reason in this moment of panic you feel a surreal sense of calm so out of my mouth comes “what does that mean?” “are they cancerous?” Again with very few words “i cant be sure i would say 90% likely they are” and on his way he goes. So in a time where i feel panic would be normal there is still this surreal feeling of calm and no emotion, no fear, no anxiety, no panic – maybe this is really what confusion feels like.

Passing on the information is when these feelings arise and questions begin to have but also a sense of surreal positivity, it’ll be fine they’ll remove them all will be good and life will continue (before mum even returns from her travels), what i hadn’t appreciated at this moment is life will never be the same again irrespective of the outcome.

So liver biopsy next to confirm if the lesions are cancerous or are they benign – David and Josie accompany me as they have done through this whole process massively stepped up cos mum away and although this process has at times been horrible it has also shown and convinced me of the value of true friendship and family and i cant be more grateful for the people in my life that have been there every step of the way, these people will continually come up but they have been the best and i love them with every inch of my being and will be eternally grateful, and i have loved how much closer especially me and David have become – my big brother the legend!!! So the biopsy is scary and def the most painful thing at this point – they literally go in and cut a bit of your liver and shoot it out and send it off to the lab, so woo love a good scar and i now have what looks like bullet holes, this story could get fun lol!! Worst words “must lay still for 6 hours” :(!! Football gathering that evening with some of the bluebird legends!!

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Myself, the sister in law (Josie) and the Brother (David)!!

St Anton 2015