So, March marked a year since i found out i had Cancer and this whole other world arrived on my doorstep. One that i wasn’t expecting and didn’t want. However, this year has taught me some amazing things and i’ve also experienced and achieved many things. Its not all been doom and gloom but don’t get me wrong the everlasting feeling of life never returning to normal has been difficult and the uncertainty and unpredictably that looms just around the corner at any moment… i don’t want it to seem like its been plain sailing or an easy ride but something i know is that positivity and realism have become and will remain constant in my life! So a year anniversary came and went and made me reflect on things that had happened or i had experienced (thank god i was busy that week is all i can say).
Many things have changed in my life over the year. The hospital and the people there have become a cemented part of my life and safe to say my fear of hospitals has decreased. 3 years ago i’d do anything to avoid the GP, let alone the hospital, and now its at least a bi weekly occurrence. The whole year has been a bit topsy turvy and an absolute emotional rollercoaster but i can’t be thankful enough for the people my friends and family and wider group who have done there bit in making this easier to cope with and feel so loved. From the little things (i don’t need to list them they know) to the bigger things and always being there. However this hasn’t been plain sailing either i’ve learnt a lot about relationships with people and at times that has been extremely difficult for me seeing relationships change because of an illness and something i am not in control of.
This year has seen me not be able to participate an compete weekly in the one thing i’ve always loved FOOTBALL!! However i am massively thankful for the ability to be able to do this when i feel able but that has been a big and very difficult switch in my life. Since the age of 6 it has been something i’ve done at least twice a week and sometimes i’ve been lucky if i’ve been able to do it twice a month throughout this.
Travel again something close to my heart i think the thought of losing this ability was crushing and mixed with the hassle of insurance something that at some stages wasn’t sure if it would be possible. However here i am writing this from half way across the world and thanks to many of the people around me i have been able to continue doing this and see and experiencing what the rest of the world has to offer. Something i feel everyone should experience.
I don’t want this to turn into a list of things i’ve done or things i’ve lost, just a time that has made me reflect on some changes that have happened through no fault of anyone’s but have been changes that have affected me since hearing those 3 dreaded words.
Im aware that the path ahead may not always be smooth but with the people and determination i try to have i hope its one that i will continue battling through!!
A year ago i never thought id be writing a blog let alone a blog about this journey but here it is and the aim of it was just to allow a spacw to write down my thoughts and experiences and hopefully in that it might help some, if it helps one person it has been worth it :). So if i don’t know you personally and this has reached you feel free to leave a comment or anyone feel free to drop me a message through the contact form on the blog.