I don’t know where to start this blog and I definitely wish I wasn’t writing it but here it goes… This week I lost a friend, a ‘cancer’ friend some may say, but she was more than that. I got to know her family, we had connections through sport all over the place, we loved Ed Sheerhan but more importantly we had each other in some of our darkest moments whilst trying to fight our own bowel cancer battles. I had battled alot with wanting to be part of the ‘cancer’ community and ended end totally ignoring it. I know I have an awful habit of forming meaningful relationships with people, I hate losing people, so it was never the ideal setting for me – opening up to people, getting close and learning about there own battles which could mirror mine, but cancer in control of bringing those friendships to an end. This one I couldn’t and wouldn’t have wanted to avoid and I wouldn’t have changed it.
Me and Charlene, although living fairly nearby and surely coming into contact on a football pitch, had never met until she made an appearance in #kickcancercup 2015 where she featured for the STech XI. Well approximately 2 years later she reached out to explain to me about her own bowel cancer journey she was about to embark on. We chatted, we moaned and we laughed but when she said they were attacking hers with curative intent I was so happy, happy for her and her family that hopefully soon this would all just be a nightmare and a difficult couple of years. She was a fighter I knew that from the start!! She was going to tackle this head on and she was going to smash it.
As we know it didn’t turn out this way and over the last year or so our journeys began to mirror each other in almost a weird and twisted way. We’d compared it to a weird game of monopoly we were playing or some crazy roulette. Some crazy race neither of us had entered but were both going to give everything to not get to the finish line. Our circumstances became crazily surreal but we both knew if and when needed we had each other at the end of a text, FB message, phone wether it was to laugh, swear, cry or shout we had each other.
You told me to carry on and carry on smashing as far through this as I can and that’s a promise I made and I will continue to fight on and plough through as far as I can for the both us, after all I need to find out what the hell happens in Gavin and Stacey.
Rest in peace up there Charlene and look down on all your loved ones, but save me a good seat for when the time is ready. You are and will remain loved by many!!
❤️ U bowel cancer baller ⚽!!
I had always said I hoped writing a blog and the #kickcancercup would at least help one person reach out or inspire them on their own journey, it was all worth it.